It's Mother's Day and I made four simple pairs of earrings for four great women; my sister, my sister's in-laws, and her mom.
I'm tired already.
I don't know if it's from making jewelry or sleeping late or what but nothing beats my sister exclaiming 'how pretty!!' when I gave her pink chalcedony earrings.
I came home ready to take a nap but I could not resist going online and now I'm not so sleepy anymore. Go figure. I'm sitting here typing and rambling and eating Extra Crunchy Jalapeno Chips and craving a Frappucino. Just another Sunday.
There is a lot to think about considering my future and the future of others close to me, i.e. Derrick. Now, I'm not trying to be gooey, but said futures are intertwined ...
Anyway, last Friday, I was driving to Fremont to drop my friend off and on the way, she asked me what did I want to do with my English major? I have a degree in it, I might as well use it, right? I couldn't think of an answer. There wasn't really anything I wanted to do with it. I can write, yeah, I'm pretty good at English, yeah, ... but there's nothing about it that sparks my interest. What else can I say? Lying would be a waste of time and Esther has a good bullshit meter.
Financially, it might have been a good idea to go into teaching or some other thing, but my heart wasn't in it. I simply cannot see myself in a classroom for eight hours a day. I used to cut class all the time! Why would I want to subject others to that torture? I think I have blogged about this several times already ... :T
Anyway, when she asked me, all I could think of was the path I did choose. Jewelry design with countless gemstones and vivid colors and the things I want to do and look forward to because of it. I want to be known on Etsy, I want to have my jewelry worn by celebrities like Yvonne Strahovski or 'Sarah Walker' in CHUCK, (I HEART THAT SHOW!!!!) I want to have my pieces featured in a magazine like Lucky, sadly (or is it?) none of these are things that have nothing to do with the degree that I have obtained.
So there's my answer as to why didn't I do anything with my English major, other than well, writing a blog. It is clear to me now ... again. I hate that feeling of self-doubt. I feel like I have so many things in my way. I need to get started. I need more money. I need to get started on that nest egg so I can buy supplies and make my dreams a reality.
I need to stop bitchin' and just do it.
I showed some of my jewelry to my co-worker and she liked what she saw and suggested that I show my designs at the dinner we're having next month. *gulp*
I have to get used to the exposure if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I freak out because I tend to stammer when I'm nervous or worry that people won't like what I've spent hours on or a million other redonkulous reasons/excuses.
Again, just do it.
If I don't get to it, I'll NEVER get to post a 'Quit Your Day Job' article on Etsy and I will be collecting co-pay and dealing with people's health insurance forever.
